It’s Good to Have Haters (Once in a While)
Haters are every person’s bane. Haters stalk you online, post anonymous comments on your Facebook page or blog that are rude or sarcastic, and become a source of annoyance. But having haters is not always a bad thing. In fact, it may be good to have haters once in a while.
Always remember that hatred is not the opposite of love and admiration; indifference is. So, if someone hates you, it means they feel strongly for you and their hatred may just be a form of defense mechanism called reaction formation.
Haters: An Example of “Reaction Formation”
In reaction formation, when a person knows he admires or envies you but he can’t handle that fact, he develops the exact opposite reaction of what he really feels. The typical example of reaction formation is a spiritual person who happens to be a pedophile: although he loves children (in a sick sense), he knows it’s wrong, so he forms a reaction and overtly starts hating pedophilia instead. He may even go to the extent of joining rallies against known pedophiles or lobbying for a heavier punishment for pedophiles… despite the fact that he is one.
So, if you have haters, they are most probably people who have one defense mechanism in common: reaction formation. They secretly envy and admire you but they can’t live with it.
Haters: Why It’s Good To Have Them
We should avoid fights and arguments, acting as peacemakers whenever possible; however, we can never avoid having haters if we are in the public eye. As explained above, haters are a mutated form of fans – and they will always be part of the package.
Do not fret; having haters can actually be a good thing! Here are a few reasons why it’s good to have haters once in a while.
- Haters are mirrors that show the mistakes you might have overlooked. Having a busy life, even when it is dedicated to noble causes, may distract you from noticing some of your mistakes. Haters are one of the first people to point these mistakes out, serving as a sort of moral checkpoint. And yes, we all need those checkpoints.
- Haters are fans, in a twisted way. A normal person who hates a public figure will not go out of his way nor spend extra time just to stalk or annoy his object of hatred. An admirer-turned-hater, on the other hand, will do exactly that. Haters usually obsess about the person they hate. Their worlds may revolve around the person they so hate – and really, isn’t that a little flattering? Read on for more.
- Haters give your life more spice. Can you imagine how boring your life would be if all you have are loving admirers and friends? Haters give life to your social networks and websites. They post such snarky remarks that get other people to react, post, and repost what happened. And before you know it, your haters have helped make you even more popular.
- Haters bring out your true admirers. Whenever a hater attacks a public figure, admirers and friends come to the rescue. Where there is hatred, love also springs forth. It’s the yin and yang of social politics!
So, if you have haters (or “frenemies” who act like friends but hate on you when your back is turned), don’t be upset. Some people can’t help but obsess about you, even if it’s in a twisted way. Don’t let it get to you. Let the obsession (and the envy or the hatred) lie in their hands, not yours. And if you do get hateful comments on Twitter, Facebook, or your blog, here are useful tips on how to handle negative comments.
Be flattered that your haters are following your every move! Believe me, haters may be doing you a great service. Speaking of which, feel free to visit my Facebook page (whether you’re an admirer or a hater). And feel free to share your “hater” experience below!