Why I No Longer Paint

I used to like painting. But growing up got the better of me and I forgot about a few things that I used to cherish as a kid.

Perhaps it was my love of self-expression that made me try drawing when I was a kid. I loved how one piece of paper could draw out emotion, provoke thought, and get people to share their opinions. It was like a story told from your point of view, but without the words. It was like opening a door of possibilities.

I never used pencil for my drawings when I was younger - I never really knew why. I started using pencil when I reached highschool.  But when I was in first grade, I would use crayons alone. Maybe I loved the colors so much that using pencil would make me feel like I was raping the hues. Maybe I found the colors so scandalous and I loved it that way.

I was never a great painter. Whatever awards I won were probably just a stroke of luck. I never had the chance to hone what I had. And maybe that was why it was taken away from me.

Or maybe I’m too lazy to find out if it’s still there.

Regardless, I look back at memories of how I used to love drawing. Hopefully, they will remind me that every talent is a gift, but if it’s not given the justice it deserves, it’s bound to fade away.