Trust Nobody

Monday, July 11, 2011 Stef dela Cruz 2 Comments

About three months ago, I introduced a guy to my parents. He seemed like a nice enough guy, although I sensed that he had a wandering eye. But he promised to be loyal, so I gave it a shot.

A day after I introduced him to my parents, he asked another girl out – and I find out only now.

Here’s the thing when someone betrays your trust: all his words lose meaning. His declarations of love, his promises to do good by you become null. Those words are no longer backed by a strong belief that yes, they do mean something.

Making sense of betrayal in a relationship also becomes futile. No, there usually is no answer to the question, “How could he have done it?” There is no right answer to the question, “Weren’t we happy?” As a couple, you could be as happy as Santa Claus on Prozac, yet all the deceit will still happen if someone chooses to go down that road. Besides, knowing the how’s and the why’s does not make the pain go away. Sadly, there is no comfort in knowing.

There is no excuse for unfaithfulness. Every person who cheats has made that decision in their own time, knowing the consequences yet still choosing to do it. It is the one thing that could – and maybe should – break two people apart.

I believe that although to forgive is divine, to allow someone to act like you don’t exist simply because you weren’t looking is just plain dumb. And I refuse to be dumb in any way.

Dumbness, ladies and gentlemen, stops right here. Trust, as they say, takes years to build, a second to break, and forever to repair. The damage has been done.

So, they didn’t sleep together? Isn’t that worse? An emotional affair is, unfortunately, much worse than a merely physical affair; here’s why.

Stef dela CruzAbout the blogger
Stef dela Cruz is a doctor and writer. She received the 2013 Award for Health Media from the Department of Health. She maintains a health column in Health.Care Magazine and contributes to The Manila Bulletin. Add her to your circles.


  1. I agree with you 100%. Trust is so hard to repair, almost impossible. I hate the "give me another shot, you can trust me" thing. It is, unfortunately, broken.

  2. Ellie, yes, I also hate the "I am different now" spiel. It stinks to high heavens. >_<