The Glass Slipper Mentality

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 Stef dela Cruz 6 Comments

If the shoe doesn’t fit, she’s not the one? Ah. This is all Cinderella’s fault.


Chatting with my girl friends usually boils down to talking about relationships. And I was generally fine, tolerating the gushing and the sighing and the giggling… until my friend started to talk about soul mates. “Soul mates are meant to be,” she declared with conviction.


I had to refrain myself from rolling my eyes. “Soul mates aren’t meant, they’re made.”


She sniffed with disagreement. “No! God drops your soul mate on your lap when you’re ready.”


So, someone explain this to me. When it comes to looking for the perfect house, God doesn’t drop it on our laps; we have to look for it, search for it online, hire a realtor, check out one house after another, and settle for the one house that doesn’t seem to have a ghost or a faucet leak that mysteriously can’t be fixed. When it comes to jobs, we hunt for the perfect one like wolves on a prowl, constantly searching for the one job that offers fair work hours and benefits. We go through newspapers and online job sites, hoping that of the gazillion jobs listed, we find one that we can stomach enough to wake up to everyday. But when it comes to relationships, nooooo, that is supposed to come to us while we sit lazily on our bums all the live-long day?


Eh. Bite me. Humanity is fast losing the race against logic.


I’m not being jaded or pessimistic. All I’m saying is, everything in life – relationships included – will find its way to you better if you pursue it just as you deserve it. Life is not a fairy tale; our godmothers aren’t fairies, and although our sisters sometimes seem like they’re definitely evil, we aren’t living in a fairy tale.


cinderellaWake up. You are not Cinderella. You’re probably not even half as pretty. Your Prince Charming will not be waiting for you with the glass slipper that slipped off your feet because you were a naughty girl who wanted to sneak out of the house to flirt all night. Besides, if everybody stayed at home waiting for their prince or princess and stared out the window everyday while crossing their fingers, then no two people would be outdoors long enough to run into each other , right?


Do not delude yourself; men are not princes. They’re people, complete with flaws and all, just like you. They’re not fictional characters in fairy tales; in fact, they’re real… and glass slipperreally, isn’t that better?


Somebody should sue Disney... or at least start manufacturing glass slippers for those whose heads are still up in the clouds. Wake up; reality is much better than any fairy tale you’ve ever heard.

Stef dela CruzAbout the blogger
Stef dela Cruz is a doctor and writer. She received the 2013 Award for Health Media from the Department of Health. She maintains a health column in Health.Care Magazine and contributes to The Manila Bulletin. Add her to your circles.


  1. My mother was single for years and kept saying the right man would just come to her door. I would tell her you have to get out and meet people, he isn't going to just show up at your door. But she grow old and alone and now is in a nursing home. She was a very good looking woman, but she just wouldn't go out to meet people. I believe we can find many right people to spend our lifes with. Many souls are conected, we don't just have one soul mate. We might have 1,000's of soul mates. The trick is to mean just one.

  2. Cricket, what happened to your mom is a sad thing. But I'm also glad the lesson to be learned from what happened to her is not lost on you. Merry Christmas, I hope your mom is happy. I hope you are, too. :)

  3. You are so right. I am in a deep study concerning this very subject. The concept of "The One" mentality is an irresponsible and reckless approach towards mate selection. Mate selection is a discovery process...One that is only complete through much time and discovery.
    A person that has convinced themselves that that he/she is “The One” will not be genuinely open to hear anything that does not validate the relationship. Unless they can genuinely put a question mark on it they will never even make it to the road of discovery.
    Much needs to be addressed on this subject with the single/dating crowd.

    Kudos to you for seeing the truth.

  4. Why, thanks, My2Cents! Yes, people seem to be "blind" when it comes to their potential mates. Good luck to all of us - we need it. ^_^

  5. Read "The One" by Ben Young.
    It hammers this home pretty good.
    It is a Christian book that takes a "realistic" approach to mate selection. Ive read a lot of books and this one was the best.

  6. Wow, thanks for the recommendation. But you know what they say, when a Christian book is about politics, it's probably more about Christianity than politics. Same goes for Ben Young's book. :)