Imagine this: you’re in your room, you just woke up, and you’re feeling a little antsy. You reach down and start spanking the monkey. Suddenly, the door opens – and your mother walks in on you with your pants down and your hand feverishly wanking off! So, what do you do when you’re caught masturbating? Here are a few things you can say:

• Hey, it’s better than doing drugs!

• But Mom, I just wanted to know how big it would grow…

• Please close the door. Can’t you see I’m busy?!

• It’s not my fault, my girlfriend made me do it!

Tricky, tricky. Better not get caught with your pants down. But if you do, it’s better to be prepared with a comeback than be sorry. ;)