Change

Monday, November 15, 2010 Stef dela Cruz 0 Comments

It’s not a personal blog for nothing, yes? However, the whole world is watching (I must be careful).

 

I try to stay away from the limelight at all times. Attention is not something I crave. Okay, maybe sometimes, a little attention is nice. But too much of a good thing is a bad thing – or so they say.

 

And speaking of attention, a lot has come to my attention lately, like how my sink has started to regurgitate and how my AC unit has continued to leak. What is wrong with this place? Is it starting to show signs of illness after all that it’s been through? Is there just way too much oppression in here? I need to move out. This place is no longer my own. I have obviously overstayed my welcome.

 

I need a fresh start. I need a new place, one that’s free of lingering memories. I am not a fan of the past.

 

Just yesterday, I came across news that changed everything. I felt surprised, grateful, hurt. Shocked. It was as if a bucket of cold water was emptied over my head. It was a grand reality check, something I really needed.

 

Thank God for gossip, for people who care enough to tell you what they know. They have saved me from a lot of trouble. Well, the news they threw my way is going to bring me a lot of misery in the next few days… But in the long run, I’ve been spared a lot of… what? I don’t know what I’m being spared of. But whatever it is, I’ve always had an inkling that it has something to do with trouble.

 

So, here goes step one of the great undoing. Step one, done. The next few steps will be more painful. I am aware of the consequences, I know, I know. I am not ready, but I will do it. I will probably cry until I fall asleep; I will probably flog myself mentally for torturing myself. But it has to be done – I promised that things will change, and they shall.

 

Ah, gossip. See how the world still talks about you despite how much you avoid the limelight.

Stef dela CruzAbout the blogger
Stef dela Cruz is a doctor and writer. She received the 2013 Award for Health Media from the Department of Health. She maintains a health column in Health.Care Magazine and contributes to The Manila Bulletin. Add her to your circles.

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